Blackadder Series 2 Episode 3 – Potato Full Script

The third episode of Blackadder Series 2, is called ‘Potato’. Guest starring Tom Baker as Captain Redbeard Rum, it is a source of endless amusement. A quite literally legless Captain, a sea journey, and urine drinking play just a small part in this well written episode of Blackadder.

The full script for Blackadder Series 2 Episode 3 Potato

Blackadder Series 2 Episode 3 – Potato Full Script

[Blackadder’s house. Enter Percy wearing a matching red outfit and hat –
with antlers. The outfit is covered in bells which ring as he walks.
Sounds of a celebration are heard outside]

Percy: Coming?

read more

Posted in Blackadder Series 2 | Leave a comment

Blackadder Series 2 Episode 2 Head Full Script

The second episode of Blackadder Series 2 is called “Head”. The plot of this episode revolves around Blackadder being appointed the Lord High Executioner and Minister for Religious Genocide. Once more, this funny Blackadder episode brings together contemporary historical themes that people even today can relate to, and some excellent, well formed characters. The full script of Blackadder series 2 episode 2 is below.

Blackadder Series 2 Episode 2 Head - A funny scene from the dungeonBlackadder Series 2 Episode 2 – Head Full Script

SCENE 1 (Home of Edmund Blackadder)
——-
BA: Right Baldrick, let’s try again shall we? This is called adding. If I
have two beans, and then I add two more beans, what do I have?
B: Some beans.
BA: Yes…and no. Let’s try again shall we? I have two beans, then I add two
more beans. What does that make?
B: A very small casserole.

read more

Posted in Blackadder Series 2 | Leave a comment

Blackadder Series 2 Episode 1 Bells Full Script

Here is the full script for Blackadder Series 2 Episode 1 – Bells. It is in series two, that Blackadder truly develops as a character. To many people, this is the ‘classic’ Blackadder series. ‘Bells’ also marks the first episode that Ben Elton takes a hand in writing, as well as introducing one of the most iconic characters – Lord Flash.

Lord Flash from Blackadder Series 2 Episode 1 - BellsBlackadder Series 2 Episode 1 Bells Full Script

In the house of Kate and her father.

K: Father, I must speak. I can be silent no longer. All day long you
muttered to yourself, gibbered, dribbled, moaned and bat your head
against the wall, yelling “I want to die”. Now you may say I’m
leaping to conclusions but you’re not *completely* happy, are you?
It’s mother, isn’t it?
F: No, it is not.
K: You’re brooding over her death, aren’t you?
F: Kate, for the final time, your mother is not dead. She’s run off
with your uncle Henry.
K: Dear father, I know you only say such things to comfort me.
F: Your mother is alive and well and living in Droitwich. It is not her
I brood over. I’m sad because, my darling, our poverty has now
reached such extremes that I can no longer afford to keep us. I must
look to my own dear tiny darling to sustain me in my frail dotage.
K: But father, surely…
F: Yes Kate, I want you to become a prostitute.
K: Father!
F: Do you defy me?
K: But indeed, I do. For it is better to die poor than to live in shame
and ignominy.
F: No, it isn’t.
K: I’m young and strong and clever. My nose is pretty. I shall find
another way to earn us a living.
F: Oh, please… go on the game. It is a steady job and you’d be
working from home.
K: Goodbye father. I shall go to London, disguise my self as a boy and
seek my fortune!
F: But why go all the way to London when you can make a fortune lying
on your back?

read more

Posted in Blackadder Series 2 | Leave a comment

Blackadder Series I, Episode 6 – The Black Seal

Blackadder Series I, Episode 6 is called the Black Seal. This is the final episode in the first series of Blackadder. The plot revolves around Blackadder hiring mercenaries so that he can take the throne. With some great characters such as Sir Wilfred Death,  and Three-Fingered Pete, Blackadder manages to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory right at the very end!

the-black-seal

Full Script for Blackadder Series I, Episode 6 – The Black Seal

Intro: Many are the tales told of the Black Adder and of his faithful
henchmen Lord Percy Percy and Baldric son of Robin the Dung-Gatherer, but
none is told so oft, with so much hitting of heads with wonder and
repeating of exciting parts as this the final chapter in the book of The
Black Adder.

read more

Posted in Blackadder Series 1 | Leave a comment

The Best of General Melchett – Blackadder Quotes

Blackadder Goes Forth combined brilliant writing with superb character acting. Stephen Fry as General Melchett is perhaps the best example of this. Take a look at these great General Melchett Blackadder Quotes.

General Melchett Blackadder Quotes

General Melchett Blackadder Quotes

“Melchett: Are we all ready to give those French a good licking?
Darling: It’s the Germans we’ll be licking, sir.
Melchett: Don’t be ridiculous, Darling. I wouldn’t lick a German if he were glazed in honey!”

General Melchett Quotes

“That’s the spirit, Blackadder, you’re a real man, not some desk-sucking, pen pushing blotter jotter like Darling here! ”

read more

Posted in Best Blackadder Quotes | Leave a comment

BlackAdder I, Episode 5 Witchsmeller Pursuivant

Here is the full script for BlackAdder Series I, Episode 5 Witchsmeller Pursuivant. Blackadder is falsely accused of witchcraft by a character known as the Witchsmeller Pursuivant. This episode of Blackadder makes fun of mediaeval superstition, along with religious beliefs both past and present. The full script for Blackadder Series 1 Episode 5 is below.

Blackadder series 1 episode 5 witchsmeller

 BlackAdder Series I, Episode 5 Witchsmeller Pursuivant Full Script

(in a cottage, four people are eating supper.)

Woman 1: What about this plague, then? Rumours from the North say it’s
worse there than ever.

read more

Posted in Blackadder Series 1 | Leave a comment

Blackadder Series I, Episode 4 – The Queen of Spains Beard Full Script

Blackadder series 1, episode 4 is called The Queen of Spains Beard. In this episode, Blackadder must marry in order to ensure alliances between kingdoms. The episode deals with a number of taboo subjects, such as pre-marital sex, homosexuality, and even child-marriage in a slapstick, and bawdy manner. One of the funniest scenes, is where Blackadder dresses flamboyantly in an effort to stress he ‘prefers the company of men’, only to find that the Spanish Infanta believes him to have made an effort to dress in a Spanish style! The full script for Blackadder Series 1, Episode 4 The Queen of Spains Beard is below.

read more

Posted in Blackadder Series 1 | Leave a comment

Funny Blackadder Meme – Wibble

Are you looking for a funny Blackadder meme that says ‘Wibble’? Of course you are, or why would you be here?! Use this funny Blackadder meme the next time you need a witty reply in a Facebook conversation. Always have wibble on standby!

Funny Blackadder Meme Wibble

Blackadder quote two pencils up the nose

Posted in Blackadder Series 4 | Leave a comment

Blackadder I, Episode 3 – The Archbishop Full Script

Full script for Blackadder Series 1 Episode 3 – The Archbishop. When the Archbishop of Canterbury meets an unfortunate end, Blackadder is a reluctant replacement. An episode packed with plenty of gags and historical references. Blackadder at it’s best!

blackadder-1

Full Script for Blackadder I, Episode 3 – The Archbishop

Caption: England, November 1487. The battle between the church and the crown
continues to rage, and the Duke of Winchester, the greatest landowner
in England, is dying.

(the bedchamber of the Duke; King Richard and Godfrey, the Archbishop of
Canterbury, are with him)

read more

Posted in Blackadder Series 1 | Leave a comment

Blackadder Series I, Episode 2 – Born to Be King Full Script

Here is the full script for Blackadder Series 1, Episode 2 – Born to Be King. This is a quirky sort of episode, and you can tell that the writers are trying to ‘find their feet’. There are some great gags of course, including a ‘speaking Greek’ scene, and an unhealthy obsession with eunuchs!

full script for blackadder series 1 episode 2 born to be king

Full Script for Blackadder Series I, Episode 2 – Born to Be King

Caption: In 1486, the second year of Richard IV’s historic reign and also
the year in which the egg replaced the worm as the lowest form of
currency, King Richard departed England on a Crusade against the
Turks.

read more

Posted in Blackadder Series 1 | Leave a comment