All posts by Edmund_Blackadder

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 3 Major Star Full Script

The full script of Blackadder Series 4 Episode 3 Major Star is below. Do you like Charlie Chaplin, or fancy George in a dress?

Read the full script for Blackadder Series 4 Episode 3 Major Star

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 3 Major Star Full Script

(in the army barracks, sound of whistling is heard)

(Edmund sighs)

George: You’re a bit cheesed off, sir?

Edmund: George, the day this war began I was cheesed off. Within ten minutes
of you turning up, I finished the cheese and moved on to the coffee
and cigars. And at this late stage, I’m in a cab with two lady companions on my way to the Pink Pussycat in Lower Regency. read more

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 2 Corporal Punishment Full Script

The full script for Blackadder Series 4 Episode 2 Corporal Punishment is here for your pleasure! Has anyone seen a pigeon? Ready, aim, fire!

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 2 Corporal Punishment

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 2 Corporal Punishment Full Script

(in BA’s quarters; Edmund is on the phone)

Edmund: You’d like to book a table for three by the window for 9.30 PM,
not too near the band, in the name of Obel-ointment Fungentula.
Yes, yes, I think you might have the wrong number. Alright.
(hangs up; enter George)

George: Rather close line there, eh sir? That phone system is a shambles
no wonder we haven’t had any orders! read more

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 1 – Captain Cook Full Script

Blackadder series 4 Episode 1 is called Captain Cook. Set in the trenches of World War 1, it marks the peak of creative writing for the Blackadder series. It is also the most intelligently written series. Here is the full script for Episode 1 Captain Cook.

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 1 Captain Cook

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 1 – Captain Cook Full Script

[The dugout. Blackadder is sitting in a chair reading a book. A record is
playing softly. Scratching noises are heard.]

Blackadder: Baldrick, what are you doing out there?

Baldrick: I’m carving something on this bullet sir.

Blackadder: What are you carving? read more

Is it Pay Day Yet? – A Classic Blackadder Quote

Is it pay day yet? A classic Blackadder quote from Series 3 comes to mind right now! Remember to check out more great Blackadder Quotes at www.blackadderquotes.com

Classic Blackadder Quote

A classic Blackadder quote - I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.

I’m as poor as a church mouse, that’s just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.

As poor as a church mouse - classic Blackadder quote

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 5 – Amy and Amiability Full Script

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 5 is called Amy and Amiability. In this episode, Blackadder comes close to being shot by a transvestite on an unrealistic grassy knoll. Here is the full script for this great episode of Blackadder.

Blackadder series 3 episode 5 amy and amiability

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 5 – Amy and Amiability Full Script

E: Edmund Blackadder
B: Baldrick
PR: Prince Regent George
A: Miss Amy Hardwood
H: Mr. Hardwood
SC: Sally Cheapside
DC: The Duke of Cheapside
S: The Shadow
MM: Mrs. Miggins

The Palace Kitchens
——————-

(Baldrick is plucking a goose. Blackadder is sitting at the kitchen
table.) read more

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 4 – Sense and Senility Full Script

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 4 is called Sense and Senility. Enormous trousers and an heroic stance are needed, and don’t mention Macbeth!

blackadder-series03Blackadder Series 3 Episode 4 – Full Script

The Palace Kitchens
——————-

(Blackadder walks in. Baldrick looks up from polishing a shoe.)

B: You look smart, Mr. Blackadder. Going somewhere nice?

E: No, I’m off to the theatre.

B: Don’t you like it then?

E: (sarcastically) No, I don’t! A load of stupid actors strutting around,
shouting, with their chests thrust out so far, you’d think their
nipples were attached to a pair of charging elephants! And the *worst*
thing about it is having to go with Prince *Mini-Brain*! read more

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 3 – Nob and Nobility Full Script

This is the full script for Blackadder Series 3 Episode 3. Nob and Nobility sees Blackadder get involved with the French Revolution in order to make a profit. And who is that elusive Pimpernel?

The full script for Blackadder Series 3 Episode 3 Nob and Nobility

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 3 – Nob and Nobility Full Script

Miggins: [dancing about by a table of two customers in her coffee shop]
Oh la la! [laughs happily]

[Edmund Blackadder, butler to the Prince Regent, enters]

Edmund: Ah, good morning, Mrs Miggins.

Miggins: Bonjour, monsieur.

Edmund: What?

Miggins: Bonjour, monsieur — it’s French.

Edmund: So is eating frogs, cruelty to geese and urinating in the street,
but that’s no reason to inflict it on the rest of us. read more

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 2 – Ink and Incapability Full Script

This is the full script for Blackadder Series 3 Episode 2. The Blackadder episode is called Ink and Incapability, and is centred around the thicky Prince being asked to be a patron to the first ever English dictionary. This gives Blackadder plenty of room to come up with some very memorable quotes!

Blackadder series 3 episode 2 ink and incapability

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 2 – Ink and Incapability Full Script

Cast –

E: Edmund Blackadder
B: Baldrick
G: Prince Regent George
M: Mrs. Miggins
J: Dr. Samuel Johnson
By: Lord George Gordon Byron
C: Samuel Taylor Coleridge
S: Percy Bysshe Shelley read more

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 1 Dish and Dishonesty Full Script

The third series of Blackadder is set in a period of time known as the Regency. Blackadder has been reduced in social status to being the Butler of the Prince Regent. Baldrick is of course at the bottom of the social ladder, being a dogsbody once more. Episode 1 of Blackadder Series 3 is based upon an election in a rotten borough – not a rubber button.

Dish and Dishonesty - Blackadder Series 3 Episode 1

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 1 Dish and Dishonesty Full Script

M: Mrs. Miggins
B: Baldrick
E: Edmund Blackadder
P: Pitt the Younger (and the Even Younger)
I: Ivor Biggun
H: Vincent Hanna
T: Sir Talbot Buxomly
G: Prince George read more