There is a popular phrase – “A Blackadder Quote a Day keeps the cretins away”. OK, perhaps that is not an official saying, but it should be! Never a day goes by, when I don’t quote Blackadder at least once. And even if I don’t actually quote from the show, I give a ‘BAHHH’ General Melchett style!
If you are looking to find the best Blackadder quotes online, then check out this collection. Blackadder quotes are updated daily, and so you can pick a new one every day of the year!
As well as our Blackadder quotes, you can also find series and episode descriptions, as well as complete scripts for all the shows. It is like Blackadder heaven!
Blackadder Goes Forth has some great quotes, including this one below. It’s from the opening scene of Captain Cook, the first episode of Blackadder Goes Forth.
Your brain’s so minute
Here’s part of the scene on YouTube. you can play it from here 😉
And the text from that scene:
Captain Blackadder: Baldrick, what are you doing out there?
Private Baldrick: I’m carving something on a bullet, sir.
Captain Blackadder: What are you craving?
Private Baldrick: I’m carving “Baldrick”, sir.
Captain Blackadder: Why?
Private Baldrick: It’s part of a cunning plan, sir.
Captain Blackadder: Of course it is.
Private Baldrick: You know how they say that somewhere there’s a bullet with your name on it?
Captain Blackadder: Yes?
Private Baldrick: Well I thought that if I owned the bullet with my name on it, I’ll never get hit by it. Cause I’ll never shoot myself…
Captain Blackadder: Oh, shame!
Private Baldrick: And the chances of there being *two* bullets with my name on it are very small indeed.
Captain Blackadder: Yes, it’s not the only thing that is “very small indeed”. Your brain for example- is brain’s so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn’t be enough to cover a small water biscuit.read more
When Blackadder met Dr. Samuel Johnson in Ink and Incapability, some beautiful un-words were created. Here’s a look at the Blackadder dictionary.
The Blackadder Dictionary
Have you ever wondered what contrafibularities means? Of course, it is an un-word, a word created for the show. It is also a play-on-words, and is all the more brilliant because you can guess its meaning from how it sounds.
Come to Nursie Cow, you lovely little heifers. Nursie from Blackadder at her finest in Blackadder Chains – the final episode from series 2.
Come to Nursie Cow
Nursie from the second series of Blackadder should have had far more many lines than she did. When she did speak though, it was incredible! This is one of our favourites. Check out more Nursie quotes from this Blackadder Chains script.