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  • Blackadder Series 1
    • Blackadder Series I, Episode 1 โ€“ The Foretelling Full Script
    • Blackadder Series I, Episode 2 โ€“ Born to Be King Full Script
    • Blackadder I, Episode 3 โ€“ The Archbishop Full Script
    • Blackadder Series I, Episode 4 โ€“ The Queen of Spains Beard Full Script
    • BlackAdder I, Episode 5 Witchsmeller Pursuivant
    • Blackadder Series I, Episode 6 โ€“ The Black Seal
  • Blackadder Series 2
    • Blackadder Series 2 Episode 1 Bells Full Script
    • Blackadder S2 E2 Head Full Script
    • Blackadder Series 2 Episode 3 โ€“ Potato Full Script
    • Blackadder Series 2 Episode 4 Money Script (Purest Green Episode!)
    • Blackadder S2 E5 Beer Full Script
    • Blackadder S2 E6 Chains Full Script
  • Blackadder Series 3
    • Blackadder S3 E1 Dish and Dishonesty Script
    • Blackadder Series 3 Episode 2 โ€“ Ink and Incapability Full Script
    • Blackadder Series 3 Episode 3 โ€“ Nob and Nobility Full Script
    • Blackadder Series 3 Episode 4 โ€“ Sense and Senility Full Script
    • Blackadder Series 3 Episode 5 โ€“ Amy and Amiability Full Script
    • Blackadder Series 3 Episode 6 โ€“ Duel and Duality Full Script
  • Blackadder Series 4
    • Blackadder Series 4 Episode 1 โ€“ Captain Cook Full Script
    • Blackadder Series 4 Episode 2 Corporal Punishment Full Script
    • Blackadder S4 E3 Major Star Script and Quotes
    • Blackadder Series 4 Episode 4 Private Plane Full Script
    • Blackadder Series 4 Episode 5 General Hospital Full Script
    • Blackadder S4 E6 Goodbyeee Full Script
  • Blackadder Specials
    • Blackadder Pilot Episode โ€“ The unaired pilot episode of Blackadder
    • Blackadder: The Cavalier Years โ€“ Full Episode, Quotes, and Script
    • Blackadder’s Christmas Carol – Full Script
    • Blackadder Back & Forth โ€“ The Final Blackadder Special
  • Blackadder T-Shirts

Best Blackadder Quotes

Find all the best Blackadder Quotes online here!

The best Blackadder Quotes online

There is a popular phrase – “A Blackadder Quote a Day keeps the cretins away”. OK, perhaps that is not an official saying, but it should be! Never a day goes by, when I don’t quote Blackadder at least once. And even if I don’t actually quote from the show, I give a ‘BAHHH’ย General Melchett style!

If you are looking to find the best Blackadder quotes online, then check out this collection. Blackadder quotes are updated daily, and so you can pick a new one every day of the year!

As well as our Blackadder quotes, you can also find series and episode descriptions, as well as complete scripts for all the shows. It is like Blackadder heaven!

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Bahhhhhh!!!

Nursie is a sad, insane old woman with an udder fixation | Blackadder Quotes

November 24, 2022March 23, 2017
A Blackadder quote to make you smile!

Nursie is a sad, insane old woman with an udder fixation. This Blackadder Quote is taken from the last episode of the 2nd series ‘Chains’.

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As my tutor old bubble face used to say: make love and be merry, for tomorrow you may catch some disgusting skin disease

November 24, 2022March 20, 2017
As my tutor old bubble face used to say: make love and be merry, for tomorrow you may catch some disgusting skin disease

As my tutor old bubble face used to say: make love and be merry, for tomorrow you may catch some disgusting skin disease.

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I smell something fishy, and I’m not talking about the contents of Baldrick’s apple crumble

November 24, 2022March 13, 2017
I smell something fishy, and I'm not talking about the contents of Baldrick's apple crumble

I smell something fishy, and I’m not talking about the contents of Baldrick’s apple crumble. This line is from Blackadder 4 ‘Captain Cook’.

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Blackadder – The eyes are open, the mouth moves

November 3, 2023March 6, 2017
The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has long since departed, hasn't he Perce? One of our favourite lines from the second series of Blackadder!

The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has long since departed, hasn’t he Perce? One of our favourite lines from the second series of Blackadder!

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We’re in the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun

November 24, 2022February 9, 2017
One of the Best Blackadder Quotes online

We’re in the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun. Classic Blackadder quote. Sticky the Stick Insect This line is from the fourth series of Blackadder. Check out the full script for this episode here >> Blackadder Major Star.

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My men have the artistic talent of a cluster of colour-blind hedgehogs… in a bag

November 24, 2022February 2, 2017
Best Blackadder quotes from Blackadder Goes Forth

I know from long experience all my men have the artistic talent of a cluster of colour-blind hedgehogs… in a bag.

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Blackadder Needs Must When The Devil Vomits Into Your Kettle

November 27, 2022January 12, 2017
Needs must when the devil vomits into your kettle

Needs Must When The Devil Vomits Into Your Kettle. A great quote from Blackadder Series 2. Best character from this one? The Baby Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells!

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Blackadder – If I Ever Meet You Again Quote

November 27, 2022January 2, 2017
If i ever meet you again, it will be twenty billion years too soon.

If I ever meet you again, it will be twenty billion years too soon. Classic Blackadder quote from the third series.

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Give The Likes Of Baldrick The Vote And… 2016 In A Nutshell!

June 29, 2022December 19, 2016
Give the likes of Baldrick the viote - This Blackadder quote sums up 2016 in a nutshell!

Give the likes of Baldrick the vote and we’ll be back to cavorting druids, death by stoning, and dung for dinner. 2016 in a nutshell! Give The Likes Of Baldrick The Vote… What a weird year 2016 was! This Blackadder quote from the third series sums it up nicely! You can read the full script … Read more

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You Are The Last In God’s Great Chain – Blackadder Quote

June 16, 2022December 15, 2016
You are the last in God's great chain - Blackadder quote.

Poor Baldrick. He always was the last in God’s great chain! He never did find the earwig to victimise either. You Are The Last In God’s Great Chain It is the way of the world, Baldrick โ€” the abused always kick downwards. I am annoyed, and so I kick the catโ€ฆ the cat pounces on … Read more

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