General Melchett Quotes – The Best of General Melchett

We’ve put together a  collection of the best General Melchett quotes and included a video of his greatest noises at the end. Behhhrr!!

General Melchett Quotes

Blackadder Goes Forth combined brilliant writing with superb character acting. Stephen Fry as General Melchett is perhaps the best example of this.

Carrying over the family name of Melchett from series 2 in Blackadder,  General Melchett is every soldiers worst nightmare.

He’s a public school, university educated buffoon at least two steps out of touch with reality – possibly three or four!

General Melchett wearing a moustache net

Thanks to the Old Boy’s network, he’s ended up commanding men on the battlefield. But he’s far from a military genius!

We’ve put together some of our favourite scenes and General Melchett quotes here.

If Nothing Else Works…

General Melchett Blackadder Quotes
One of the great things about Blackadder, is that the quotes can be used in everyday situations.

Ever worked for a boss that wants to go ahead with a plan regardless of how crap it is? Any politicians come to mind?!

Paying a visit to the trenches

His motivational speeches were particularly excellent.

Tally Ho General Melchett style

Melchett Talks Dirty

Melchett: Are we all ready to give those French a good licking?
Darling: It’s the Germans we’ll be licking, sir.
Melchett: Don’t be ridiculous, Darling. I wouldn’t lick a German if he were glazed in honey!

Melchett Getting Horny

General Melchett Quotes

We’re never sure if he actually likes Darling

“That’s the spirit, Blackadder, you’re a real man, not some desk-sucking, pen pushing blotter jotter like Darling here! ”

“I’ve come to regard you as a sort of son. not a favourite son, obviously; more an illegitimate backstairs kind of sprog, who nobody really likes’

Melchett has a word on security

Melchett wants to sdhare a word with us about security

Continuing with security with General Melchett

On joining the 20 Minuters

General Melchet: “If you’re willing to join the twenty minuters then you’re alright by me and welcome to marry my sister any day.”

Darling: “Are you sure about this sir?”

Melchett: “Certainly, you should hear the noise she makes when she eats a boiled egg, Ill be glad to get her out of the house.”

Never ignore a pooh pooh

One of our favourite General Melchett scenes is the never ignore a pooh-pooh segment!

The Best of General Melchett Noises

And finally, let’s take a look at the best of General Melchett noises, all put together in this one awesome video for you!

Looking for more great stuff from Blackadder? Check out these other two articles:

And remember to check out the series 2 scripts for more quotes from Lord Melchett Blackadder!