We’ve put together a collection of the best General Melchett quotes and included a video of his greatest noises at the end. Behhhrr!!
General Melchett Quotes
Carrying over the family name of Melchett from series 2 in Blackadder, General Melchett is every soldiers worst nightmare.
He’s a public school, university educated buffoon at least two steps out of touch with reality – possibly three or four!
Thanks to the Old Boy’s network, he’s ended up commanding men on the battlefield. But he’s far from a military genius!
We’ve put together some of our favourite scenes and General Melchett quotes here.
If Nothing Else Works…
One of the great things about Blackadder, is that the quotes can be used in everyday situations.
Ever worked for a boss that wants to go ahead with a plan regardless of how crap it is? Any politicians come to mind?!
Paying a visit to the trenches
His motivational speeches were particularly excellent.
Melchett Talks Dirty
Melchett: Are we all ready to give those French a good licking?
Darling: It’s the Germans we’ll be licking, sir.
Melchett: Don’t be ridiculous, Darling. I wouldn’t lick a German if he were glazed in honey!
Melchett Getting Horny
We’re never sure if he actually likes Darling
“That’s the spirit, Blackadder, you’re a real man, not some desk-sucking, pen pushing blotter jotter like Darling here! ”
“I’ve come to regard you as a sort of son. not a favourite son, obviously; more an illegitimate backstairs kind of sprog, who nobody really likes’
Melchett has a word on security
On joining the 20 Minuters
General Melchet: “If you’re willing to join the twenty minuters then you’re alright by me and welcome to marry my sister any day.”
Darling: “Are you sure about this sir?”
Melchett: “Certainly, you should hear the noise she makes when she eats a boiled egg, Ill be glad to get her out of the house.”
Never ignore a pooh pooh
One of our favourite General Melchett scenes is the never ignore a pooh-pooh segment!
The Best of General Melchett Noises
And finally, let’s take a look at the best of General Melchett noises, all put together in this one awesome video for you!
Looking for more great stuff from Blackadder? Check out these other two articles:
And remember to check out the series 2 scripts for more quotes from Lord Melchett Blackadder!