All posts by Edmund_Blackadder

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 5 General Hospital Full Script

The 5th episode of Blackadder Series 4 is called General Hospital. Read the full script here, and find out why security isn’t a dirty word!

Read the full script for General Hospital, which is the 5th episode of Blackadder Series 4

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 5 General Hospital Full Script

(George, Edmund and Baldrick are in their room in the trenches)

George: I spy with my little eye (he looks behind his shoulder and sees a mug) something beginning with `M’.

Baldrick: Erm…

George: (encouraging) MMM…

Baldrick: Erm…

George: (encouraging) MMM… (he bobs his head down to within inches of the
mug a few times)

Baldrick: Mmm…

(this carries on for a while)

George: MMMuh… (he picks up the mug and holds it in front of him) read more

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 4 Private Plane Full Script

Here is the full script for Blackadder Series 4 Episode 4 Private Plane. This is a popular Blackadder episode, where Lord Flash steals the show!

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 4 Private Plane

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 4 Private Plane Full Script

Scene 1: BA’s Dugout
——————–

[BA is listening to his phonograph. Artillery firing outside is causing the
record to skip frequently. Annoyed, BA storms outside.]

Scene 2: In The Trench
———————-

[Lt. George is in the trench, peering through a pair of binoculars across
No Man’s Land.] read more

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 3 Major Star Full Script

The full script of Blackadder Series 4 Episode 3 Major Star is below. Do you like Charlie Chaplin, or fancy George in a dress?

Read the full script for Blackadder Series 4 Episode 3 Major Star

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 3 Major Star Full Script

(in the army barracks, sound of whistling is heard)

(Edmund sighs)

George: You’re a bit cheesed off, sir?

Edmund: George, the day this war began I was cheesed off. Within ten minutes
of you turning up, I finished the cheese and moved on to the coffee
and cigars. And at this late stage, I’m in a cab with two lady companions on my way to the Pink Pussycat in Lower Regency. read more

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 2 Corporal Punishment Full Script

The full script for Blackadder Series 4 Episode 2 Corporal Punishment is here for your pleasure! Has anyone seen a pigeon? Ready, aim, fire!

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 2 Corporal Punishment

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 2 Corporal Punishment Full Script

(in BA’s quarters; Edmund is on the phone)

Edmund: You’d like to book a table for three by the window for 9.30 PM,
not too near the band, in the name of Obel-ointment Fungentula.
Yes, yes, I think you might have the wrong number. Alright.
(hangs up; enter George)

George: Rather close line there, eh sir? That phone system is a shambles
no wonder we haven’t had any orders! read more

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 1 – Captain Cook Full Script

Blackadder series 4 Episode 1 is called Captain Cook. Set in the trenches of World War 1, it marks the peak of creative writing for the Blackadder series. It is also the most intelligently written series. Here is the full script for Episode 1 Captain Cook.

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 1 Captain Cook

Blackadder Series 4 Episode 1 – Captain Cook Full Script

[The dugout. Blackadder is sitting in a chair reading a book. A record is
playing softly. Scratching noises are heard.]

Blackadder: Baldrick, what are you doing out there?

Baldrick: I’m carving something on this bullet sir.

Blackadder: What are you carving? read more

Is it Pay Day Yet? – A Classic Blackadder Quote

Is it pay day yet? A classic Blackadder quote from Series 3 comes to mind right now! Remember to check out more great Blackadder Quotes at www.blackadderquotes.com

Classic Blackadder Quote

A classic Blackadder quote - I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.

I’m as poor as a church mouse, that’s just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.

As poor as a church mouse - classic Blackadder quote

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 5 – Amy and Amiability Full Script

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 5 is called Amy and Amiability. In this episode, Blackadder comes close to being shot by a transvestite on an unrealistic grassy knoll. Here is the full script for this great episode of Blackadder.

Blackadder series 3 episode 5 amy and amiability

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 5 – Amy and Amiability Full Script

E: Edmund Blackadder
B: Baldrick
PR: Prince Regent George
A: Miss Amy Hardwood
H: Mr. Hardwood
SC: Sally Cheapside
DC: The Duke of Cheapside
S: The Shadow
MM: Mrs. Miggins

The Palace Kitchens
——————-

(Baldrick is plucking a goose. Blackadder is sitting at the kitchen
table.) read more

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 4 – Sense and Senility Full Script

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 4 is called Sense and Senility. Enormous trousers and an heroic stance are needed, and don’t mention Macbeth!

blackadder-series03Blackadder Series 3 Episode 4 – Full Script

The Palace Kitchens
——————-

(Blackadder walks in. Baldrick looks up from polishing a shoe.)

B: You look smart, Mr. Blackadder. Going somewhere nice?

E: No, I’m off to the theatre.

B: Don’t you like it then?

E: (sarcastically) No, I don’t! A load of stupid actors strutting around,
shouting, with their chests thrust out so far, you’d think their
nipples were attached to a pair of charging elephants! And the *worst*
thing about it is having to go with Prince *Mini-Brain*! read more

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 3 – Nob and Nobility Full Script

This is the full script for Blackadder Series 3 Episode 3. Nob and Nobility sees Blackadder get involved with the French Revolution in order to make a profit. And who is that elusive Pimpernel?

The full script for Blackadder Series 3 Episode 3 Nob and Nobility

Blackadder Series 3 Episode 3 – Nob and Nobility Full Script

Miggins: [dancing about by a table of two customers in her coffee shop]
Oh la la! [laughs happily]

[Edmund Blackadder, butler to the Prince Regent, enters]

Edmund: Ah, good morning, Mrs Miggins.

Miggins: Bonjour, monsieur.

Edmund: What?

Miggins: Bonjour, monsieur — it’s French.

Edmund: So is eating frogs, cruelty to geese and urinating in the street,
but that’s no reason to inflict it on the rest of us. read more